they say that everything has its season. a season of happiness, a season of sadness, a season of peace, a season of being really obsessed with polly pockets even though you're twenty-one years old (you mean that never happened to you? yeah, me neither...). these seasons keep things interesting so i suppose we should be thankful for them. but sometimes it seems like certain seasons come about more often and stick around far longer than the others. and oftentimes it's the season that you don't necessarily want around to keep you company.
lately, i've been in the "why do all of these bad things keep happening to me?!" season. the season that's filled with doubt, worry, self-pity, loneliness, blah blah blah. things just haven't been going my way, and most of it is my fault but placing the blame somewhere doesn't quite take away the sting.
the situations that keep popping up aren't the surprising aspect. in fact, i'm at the point where i'm expecting a bad phone call or email once a week, and i'm a bit anxious by the time wednesday comes around and i still haven't gotten some bad news. no, the surprising part of it all is how i'm handling things, or better yet-how God has completely captured my emotional fire and smothered it with a blanket of peace.
if you don't know the story of job, there's a whole book written about him. the gist of the story is that job is a wealthy man who is completely faithful to the LORD. satan tells God that the only reason job is faithful is because he has all of this wealth and blessings so of course he'll be faithful. well, God lets satan do whatever he wants to job, as long as he doesn't kill the man, to see if he'll curse God. satan goes hard in the paint, taking job's possessions, all of his family, even his health. job's friends tell job to "curse God and die" multiple times, which i think any rational person would do to put an end to it all. job never once curses God, and in the end job's health and possessions are restored and he gets a new family, while God gives satan a big, fat "boo-ya!"
now, i am not comparing myself to job. though i've had a tough time, i am still very, very fortunate and i will definitely survive. but as i've gone through this challenging season, i told God i was going to take the "job road". instead of giving up (although i've wanted to sooo many times), i tried to pray or read the bible or something else that's rather spiritual that i've been far too lazy to put trust in before. while it seemed silly and kind of useless at first, it's grown into a foundation that i believe i was supposed to be building on the whole time. when someone does me wrong, instead of writing their name in my burn book (hypothetically, because i don't actually have a burn book...) i tell myself that i should take the situation with a grain of salt, forgive them, and continue to love them. after all, i can't be forgiven for my wrongdoing if i'm holding my own burn book full of grudges.
i don't know if i'm trying to make a point, but if i am i suppose it would be this: trials and tribulations are going to come your way. maybe baby ones, maybe ones that shatter you to your core. but going through these trials are much easier with faith in a God that is good, even when you and your attitude are far, far from good. (it also helps to have the most wonderful friends and lots of chocolate and a good "crying my heart out" playlist. but most importantly, God.) i want to encourage any of you that are going through a rough time to keep fighting the good fight even when you don't want to. and don't be afraid to lean on Love.
spring has finally sprung, and i hope your days are full of frollicking and sunshine and all of the amazing things spring brings (with the exception of final exams). until next time.
peace, love, and cafeteria buffalo meltdown sandwiches.
morgan the nana
No comments:
Post a Comment