seventeen.

i'm turning twenty-one this week.

i've been lucky enough to have been blessed with the best friends on the planet. friends who get so excited and plan surprises all weekend and can't wait five more days to give me a gift. happiness is everywhere, with the closing of the semester, holidays just around the corner, and so much to celebrate. yet, somehow i can't make myself be quite as happy as everyone else. 

because all i can think about is you.

its weird to think you've been gone for seventeen years now. its never really gotten any easier. in fact, it has gotten so much harder in the last three years to know that you haven't been here for so many things: first job, first car, graduation, going off to college... every birthday is a battle of emotions for me to either be happy about my birth or mourning because of your death. that happens to be the only day on which i routinely visit your grave, too. i hate going there, because i know you aren't there; just a box full of atoms that used to contain your bountiful spirit remains. and i can only hope that heaven is as beautiful as i've imagined it to be, and you take a few moments rest from all of the dancing and singing and oh-so-glorious splendor to glance down and see what mischief we've all been getting into. 

i'm a nursing major, as i'm sure you know.  i want to go into pediatric oncology, and can hopefully make it into a ministry. i don't want to help families deal with death (although it will happen), but rather i want to help families really live for whatever time they have left together. because i would do anything for one day with you now. 

as i've already mentioned, i have the most wonderful friends. you'd love natalie for her kind heart, patrick for being such a gentleman (at least around our parents), liz for being such an example of beauty and grace, paul for his witty humor, anna for her bubbly personality, austin for his loyalty and humor, the list goes on and on. my residents... well, i know you'd love them all. i've always imagined you giving me advice on how i can let them know how much i love them. and zach. how i wish you could meet him so i could know how you felt about him. he really is fantastic, and i think dad even likes him. you'd remind me how blessed i really am when i start to forget.

holly's growing up, too. she'll be eighteen in february. i remember crying the day that she called me to say she got her first job. it is absolutely amazing how fast she's grown up. and she is so beautiful, and i don't think she even realizes it. she has your eyes and your freckles, and it kills me when she tries to cover them up. i'm looking forward to seeing who she grows up to be, and as much as i don't show it sometimes, i can't wait for the day when she wants me to be her best friend. 

dad misses you. he doesn't talk about you much, but you can tell when he does. the time that its most hardest for both of us to hold back tears is when we go to the bank and dig through all of your old jewelry. he really loved you so much, and i can only dream of having a husband half of the man that he was to you and is now. luckily, he's had a little help the last fifteen years. though we lost one mom, we were very lucky enough to get another.

every time i see an old friend of yours or of granny's, that person never fails to tell me that i look just like you, and that's the greatest compliment to me. i must admit, they are right; i'm a spitting image of you. i inherited your wild curly hair, and i've done my best to embrace it. however, if i had a dollar for every time dad said, "are you going to brush your hair today?" i'd be stiff competition for bill gates. when you and dad combined chromosomes, i think both of your personalities meshed as well. i can only imagine that my drive to love and help others comes from you, while my stubbornness and need to achieve comes from dad. i hope its okay that i wear your clothes. luckily, eighties fashion is coming back in style so i don't look too outrageous... you were truly a beauty queen. 

my biggest regret in life is that i don't remember much of you at all; most of you exists in my head as the woman i think you were. but i'm trying my hardest to become the best reflection of you that i can. i hope i can make you proud. 

there's not a single day that goes by that i don't think of you. i love you, and i miss you, mom. 

see you soon.

your (oldest, smartest, prettiest, most humble) daughter

be a doer.

i fed a homeless man this morning.

it only cost me $1.95 and i figured it would make me feel good about myself if i just threw a apple-fritter-crispy-what's-a-ma-doodle at him and ran away. but as i walked away, i didn't feel good about myself. because even after i handed him the food and told him that Jesus loves him, he didn't stop staring at the coffee in my hand. he saw that i had split some on the walk back, and i could tell that troubled him. after he asked how i liked my coffee and i told him the coffee was actually for my boss that i was on my way to meet, his frown sunk deeper. he didn't want my fancy starbucks breakfast; he just wanted someone to talk to. my measly $1.95 wasn't anywhere as valuable as my companionship. 

this morning i had read James 1:22 for a homework assignment. 
     "but be doers of the world and not merely hearers, who deceive themselves."
i was so sure that i was 'doing' this morning rather than just 'hearing'. but i wasn't doing nearly enough. and i feel like the church is in a boat very similar to mine. 

you've heard it said plenty of times: 

     "love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all      your mind."

deal. done. God is great, Jesus is awesome. i can do that. but to display whatever love we can muster up for Him, we have to try our best to be obedient and follow the second greatest command.

      "love your neighbor as yourself."

umm no. i'm pretty dang cool. okay not really, but still. the problem with this verse it this: we only love the neighbors we want to love. we want to love the people in our church, or the people with the same skin color, or the little babies in china but not the smelly one that got my kid sick at daycare, or the people that are nice to us back. and that ain't love, y'all. 

so here's the challenge: love on someone you don't want to. someone that's different than you are in almost every aspect. because God doesn't love you because you're better than everyone else. God loves black people, yellow people, mixed colors people, rich people and poor people, smart and not so smart people, people that work for the government and people that are in jail, fat people and skinny people, people that have hurt you and made you feel inferior. God loves those who He has created, whether they return that love or not. so love other people today. love them this week, this month, this year. for the rest of your life, love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. be a doer and not just a hearer.

thank you for your time. i'm ron burgundy. 

peace, love, and tapioca pudding,

morgan the nana

unwarranted advice for young women.

recently, i've seen so many young women searching high and low for their version of love. and as i watch as these quests are painfully endeavored, i grow more weary to see so many things wrong with how young women expect to find love. 
now, i am perhaps the least qualified person to give dating advice, but i will take a stab at this in hopes that some light will be shed on the situation. the following is a small string of thoughts i've compiled from my own experiences and from watching young ladies crash and burn. i think more should be considered as young women hope to enter into a romantic relationship: 


1. it is imperative to love yourself before you can love someone else. 
2. never begin a relationship with the intentions of "fixing" a person's style, beliefs, or intentions. 
3. attraction must go beyond physical appearances. one day, that boy will grow old and wrinkly and his ability to be smoking hot will fade; make sure there is sustenance remaining.
4. get to know each other! finding the first boy that tells you that how [insert adjective describing physical attractiveness] you are and playing tonsil hockey for a week does not mean you're in love. it helps so, so, so much to just be friends first.
5. don't tell every boy you date that you love them. it should take a while to say it, and even longer before you mean it. if you tell all twenty-four of your boyfriends that you love them, does that phrase hold any meaning? 
6. the key to staying together is this: don't give up so easily. you may have to fall in love over and over for different reasons each time, but it happens with the boy who's worth it.
7. arguing is good. that means you and your beau aren't robot clones. but make sure you're blissfully happy far more often than you are fussing and fighting. 
8. boyfriends are not puppies, slaves, or atm machines. don't use him for constantly handing you money, fetching your every whimsical desire, or showing off in front of all of your friends at social events (or on instagram). and don't play him. having one boy is a handful in itself; adding more is just trouble. boys are people too (despite contrary belief) and should be treated with as much dignity and respect as you expect to receive in return. 
9. don't smother him. he needs friends other than you.
10. don't isolate yourself. you need friends, too. 
11. be yourself. if you have to change your entire personality or constantly hide behind a mask covered in make-up, how genuine is your relationship? 
12. take your time. unless you're sandra bullock and about to be deported back to canada and lose your awesome editor position at a world-reknown publishing company, there is no sense in rushing to get married and/or have babies. go to school first, do things that are crazy, travel, and have fun before you settle down. once you become an adult, you can't go back. why not cleave to this last bit of childish freedom you have left?
13. allow your relationship to run deep. if you do get married one day, make sure he's your very best friend. because real life isn't like it's portrayed in movies or nicholas sparks novels, but i can bet that it's even better. 


ladies, keep your standards high. in fact, make a list of qualities you wish to see in your future husband, and don't settle for less than what's on that list. desperation only breaks your heart further in the end. 
and be of high standards. always remember you are the bride of Christ first, and a gentlemen deserves a lady with self-worth. 


alright, end of rant. stay classy, planet earth.


peace, love, and purple drank.

the adventures begin.

three weeks ago, i was able to cross off the very first item on the folded piece of paper that has been tucked inside my wallet since 2007: 'go skydiving'. 


wait, seriously? you betcha. here's the scoop: 


on saturday, april 21st, at 5:45 in the morning, a caravan composed of me and seven of my most daring friends started our trek to adventure skydiving in waverly, tennessee. 

liz and i before the jump

however, the weather wasn't ready for us. apparently you have to have clear skies to jump out of them... so we wait. and we wait. and we waited some more. it was obvious the dreary awfulness wasn't going anywhere. after eight hours of waiting around, i asked the kind receptionist if there was anyway they could squeeze us in the following day because our group is literally from all over the country. well, that girl was awesome because she gave us an appointment for 7:45, sunday, april 22nd. bam. 


on sunday, we jumped. my trusty tandem instructor, robbie, and i got really close really fast. if you ever go skydiving, you'll understand what i mean. i was the first of my group to jump out at 14,000 feet above ground. in case math is not your forte, that's two and a half miles into into the sky. while my plane was up there, it was five degrees. just five measly degrees. and i was wearing chacos (like a boss). robbie and i had fun traveling through clouds, talking about the mechanics of being an official cool person that i now am, and he even let me operate the parachute. there really is no way to describe it, so i'll just tell you to go. go. i promise you won't regret it. after all eight of us had done the deed, we put down a deposit to go again. 

robby, bess, liz, myself, paul, alina, natalie, and patrick.
the best of the best, basically.

in other news, i moved back home sunday for the summer (woo!). getting back in the swing of full-time chickfila and a house full of babies isn't the worst transition in the world, i'll admit. things i've done through this easy first week that i recommend to everyone: 

-read tina fey's book bossypants.

-rent extremely loud and incredibly close and we bought a zoo from redbox.

-watch a&e's new series "duck dynasty". 

i also tried to make captain america cupcakes for a cute little boy.

tuesday afternoon starts the bus ride to philadelphia and new york. that's right, bus ride. i'm going with two beautiful ladies and will be meeting up with plenty of handsome gentlemen on the way. 

also, if you could be so kind to keep my friends (bess, shelley, brittany, alina, laura jane, brittany, and belmont nursing students) in your prayers; they are all on mission trips and study abroad trips and could use some safety from the man upstairs as they travel.                                                        i can only hope your summer is as fun as mine will be. stay classy, planet earth and thanks for reading.

peace, love, and cupcakes. 

morgan the nana.

da babies have moved from the nest.

first of all, let me clarify the title: i am not, have not, and will not be experiencing motherhood anytime soon. no. just, no. okay? now let's continue. 

i'll start at the beginning. 

in the spring of 2011, i applied to be an r.a. in my dorm here at belmont. i wanted the job more than i wanted to eat, sleep, or breathe (well... you get the picture). so i applied, went through three interviews, and...

i didn't get it. and honestly, i was upset. no one told me why i didn't get it; i only knew i wasn't good enough. 

however, if God wants you to do something, He finds a way for you to do it. 

last fall, as i was comfortably living in my dorm with two of my best friends below doing the job i ever so coveted, i was called by the resident director of my building. she was looking for another r.a. to start on january 1, 2012. obviously, i hopped on that like a cowboy in a bull-riding competition. 

my bestest friend, liz,
(and jo the banjo)
who got me through the
semester in one piece 

now, i've never had very many close girl friends. i mean, i have, but... not really. i feel like every girl in my hometown says the same thing: "i hate girls." "girls are so stupid." "girls are mean." "i'd rather be friends with guys because blah blah blah." maybe that's true of the female population, but that's not my problem. i just don't know how to talk to a lot of girls. mostly, i say, "i like your shirt," and then that's it. being in nursing school, i'm constantly surrounded by women, but i don't have very many friends in my classes because i'm just so awkward. 

the wright staff. easily the most beautiful group of girls
you've ever laid eyes on, yes?

and now i'm in a position in which i live with thirty girls and i have to assist them with all sorts of emotional, academic, relationship, and spiritual issues. why did i want this job again? thankfully, i had my beautiful best friend, liz, right down the hall, and the other r.a. staff quickly became some of my favorite people, so i always had help whenever i needed it. 

and my residents (from my floor section and the few that i adopted). geez, where do i begin? they are the best group of ladies you can imagine. i was certainly blessed to have such a wonderful group of ladies. each of them are so unique and a pleasure to be around. fellas, if any of you are looking for a future wife, i have plenty of options for you: crafters, runners, journalers, singer/songwriters, painters, mathematicians, long boarders, actresses, you name it. i cannot express into words how much they have impacted my life. an r.a. is supposed to take care of his/her residents, but in my case it was the other way around. they always seemed to notice when i was a little out of it, when i was a smidge sad, or when i just needed space throughout this roller coaster of a semester. i'm not sure if i am allowed to call my residents my friends, but since a majority of them have already checked out i'm just going to say it: MY RESIDENTS ARE MY FRIENDS!!! i'm ever so thankful for the birthday dinners, craft nights, dance parties, random mini bible studies, midnight OC marathons (and getting in trouble every night after i left because we sang Phantom Planet's "California" too loudly), lounging in my fort with me, and letters ya'll secretly slid under my door. if any of ya'll are reading this, i love each and every one of you with my whole heart, and you'll always be my first litter of lovelies. thank you for such a great semester, and have a fantastic summer (and don't die). 

double birthday dinner at outback steakhouse

painting night

now that the sappy post is over, stay tuned for the next one. its all about my greatest adventure yet: skydiving. and also about recent crafted stuff and my move home, which is in five days (woot woot!). until then, 

peace. love. and apple sauce.

morgan the nana

fresh to death.

hello there. 
if you're reading this, its probably because you're really bored, or i somehow convinced you to read this with my amazing persuasive skills, or i became really popular sometime in my lifetime and you're scavenging my artifacts for my biography. whatever your reason, i want to thank you for giving me a little slot of attention in your day. my life is full to the brim of adventure, and i am anticipating this summer to be the most adventurous yet, so i figured i'd share some of my best (and probably some of my worst) moments with the worldwide web. 

i suppose the first blog is for an introduction... or in my case, a warning label for how crazy i am. i'll give you some tidbits about myself; feel free to judge my character as you wish. 

• i am by no means an excellent writer. nor can i sing or dance or drive very well. but i still do all of these things quite often (much to the dismay of those in close proximity of me). 
• i don' t like using capital letters, as you've probably already noticed. they just make me uncomfortable. 
• i'm a fan of: harry potter, the color yellow, corny jokes, 90's music, disney movies, and bargain hunting.
• i want to be a nurse in pediatric oncology (or in english, children who have cancer). everyone asks me why i want to be in such a sad field, and i give everyone the same answer: it just feels like the right thing to do. i don't want to watch kids die; i want to help families live, whether that's for a few more hours or for fifty more years.
• i love my family so incredibly much, even though i don't always show it. and my friends are the best on the planet. i'd like to say that i've been pretty blessed. 
• i have a better understanding for how hannah montana feels. you see, people at school call me "nana" (because i knit and enjoy taking care of everyone. also because i'm pretty old-school and i've been told i'm nice like a grandma). few people at school know my real name is actually morgan, and no one at home would ever call me nana. sometimes it gets a little confusing, but i don't mind the chaos. 
• nashville, tennessee is the place i call home, and unlike many of my friends i'd like to stay pretty close to the nest (mostly because i know it doesn't get much better). but that doesn't mean i won't travel the world, because i will. that's a promise.  
• my favorite hobby is making things. like, taking a bunch of little things and putting them together to make something completely different out of them. if you read any subsequent posts of mine, you'll find that factoid out pretty quickly. 
• i find peace in Jesus Christ. i am eternally grateful that God's love for us is unconditional because anyone else would've given up on this ol' gal already. i've been provided more than my fair share of grace, but the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair. 

that about sums it up. if you haven't fallen asleep yet, i appreciate you. stay tuned for the adventures, creations, and oddities of my life. 

peace, love, and jungle juice.